Mixed Blessings
by spankingfemfatale
Summary: Based After Siege #1 Loki learns that Doom is not a mortal to be trifled with. WARNING! This is a dark fic Jason wrote for me based from my deepest kept fantasies :P It deals with rape and the aftermath and consequences of rape.


WARNING! This is a dark fic Jason wrote for me based from my deepest kept fantasies :P It deals with rape and the aftermath and consequences of rape.

Victor Von Doom walked down the dark corridor within his military castle in Latveria, this one hidden away as a backup in the event of the destruction of his main fortress. As he strode he held a small thin vial before himself, not examining it's contents as much as pondering his use of them. A small white label on the side of the vial said ''Loki Sample''.

He had just had a conversation with Loki concerning the more recent events tied to their tenuous partnership, which, to Doom, had just now officially ended. The god of trickery had thought it quaint to leave him within his god-suit until just before the thunder god Thor was going to smite him with that awful hammer. Loki was ancient, and cunning, but he had made a mistake in playing games with Doom's health. Victor had been certain for a moment that he was to die then, and the feeling that had coursed through him, of all the things yet undone, had inspired him to feel helpless, as he was certain Loki had intended.

The Asgardian god of treachery likely did it just to see how Doom would react, to see Doom's face and hear the uncertainty in Doom's voice when he confronted the trickster about the last second rescue.

If he were a lesser man, Doom would feel anger at this. Instead, his mind had already begun to work out how Loki would regret his foolish actions. Even gods would learn not to cross Victor Von Doom.

Doom thought hard. He had already tried unraveling the Asgardian matrix through science, and he did not have a great deal of Loki's tissue to spare experimentation. So instead he would employ sorcery. Sometimes, the greatest solution was the simplest one. A common spell, employed often by the trickster god. Doom shifted his pace to take himself to the wing of the castle he would need to set this particular plan in action.

Loki felt groggy, and looked down at his mug of ale with a frown on his long face. He had not consumed that much this evening... odd. He set the container on a nearby table and stood... or at least he tried to. He felt suddenly dizzy and somehow lost his footing, crashing to the floor with a groan. Had his drink been drugged? Impossible, no one on Midgard should be aware of his location. He fought to keep tired eyelids open as he scanned the small diner that he was having a late meal in.

Loki's heavy lids shot up a bit at the sight of Doom approaching him, mortals fleeing the small restaurant at the sight of him. Unlike Loki, Doom made no effort to blend in, his telltale green cloak and armor a startling and easily recognized sight to all civilians.

Loki tried to protest this traitorous act, to shout angrily on the subject of Doom betraying their pact, but he could not form the air passing his lips into words. All that came from his mouth was a mewling sort of grunt that made him sound as if he were incredibly drunk.

Loki tried to scrabble away as Doom neared, but he could not get his traitor limbs to move correctly, flopping about on the floor as if he were a fish on dry land. Loki's eyes spoke of rage, but even his anger and fear slowly gave way to inexorable tiredness.

Doom laid a metal gauntlet on Loki's shoulder. ''You seem to have had too much to drink my friend, why don't you come with me? I will see that you are made... comfortable.''

Loki wanted to incant, to weave signs, to think clearly, but Doom wandered into several Dooms as his vision blurred, and Loki gave a garbled groan as he passed out, his eyes rolling back into his head when terror could keep them open no longer.

Loki looked to his left and right, down and up. There was no ceiling, no floor. No walls or tangible sense of distance or direction. Strange scenes floated past, over, under, around, and through him, things without true form and thus indiscernible, but nonetheless somehow familiar.

Loki whirled as he heard a voice, making out Doom's form in the swirling chaos, as the dictator came into existence close by. ''What do you think of it?''

Loki snarled at Doom, memories of his betrayal flashing back to him. ''Garish, I think. What audacity you have to betray a comrade so openly, and without provocation!''

Doom simply gestured around them to the shapeless amoebic patterns gyrating and pulsing around them. ''Fitting that you would label your own mind so, trickster. Fitting indeed.''

Loki glanced around again, understanding dawning on his face. ''I see, and for what reason have you come here, Doom? Still trying to unlock the secrets of immortality? I offered my aid to you freely, you tread dangerous ground coming here without my permission.''

Loki smiled as the atmosphere around him turned dark and menacing. Doom glanced around to see that walls of steel had erected themselves around him and Loki, visual indications of Loki's will. ''I have total control of everything around you Doom. Do you know nothing of astral projection? Now that you know the position your foolish quest has put you in, please do tell me what it is you are after. Perhaps we can come to an ...understanding.'' Loki smiled viciously, the very air somehow mimicking his mood.

Doom floated toward Loki, his demeanor as always that of the man in charge. Loki's smile faded in annoyance that Doom could be so thoroughly overpowered and still be so damned arrogant. ''I came for that very reason, Loki. You see, I was not pleased that you trifled with me as if I were one of your cat and mouse toys.''

Loki raised an elegant eyebrow, ''Oh? In what way have I 'trifled' with you? I remember my spell teleporting you to safety, you worry too much over details. Not to mention, coming into a place like this to air your grievances... why?''

Doom pointed a finger at Loki, ''You will play the role of mouse for me, to sate my desire for clemency in this matter.''

Loki laughed at Doom then waved a hand at him dismissively. ''Really? You put yourself in my palm then make demands? How very mortal of you. Not much for thinking ahead are you? Did you think I would just bow down and do as you wished because you can come in here and strike a pose at me? Do you forget who I am?''

Doom shook his head as he crossed his arms before his chest. ''I do not. I think you are the one who has forgotten. I have your body, and my sorcery is greater than yours.''

Even as Doom said this Loki's walls crumbled and faded away as if they were made of dust and wind. Loki finally took in his own person, realizing he was in the feminine form of the host body he had until recently used.

''What is the meaning of this?! You attack me without grounds!'' Loki did not ask why Doom had chosen this form for him, the trickster nervous as to what reasons the dictator might have to want him female.

Doom moved yet closer, and Loki began to back away, but found a wall behind him. Doom controlled this dream-state without effort. Loki had used this spell to gain information from mortals in the past, but never had he thought it capable of this. ''I am Doom. I do not need 'grounds'. As I said before, I am going to take compensation from you by having my own way with you. I think this the best way to make this point to you.''

Loki backed until her back was pressed against the wall, hands clutching a surface that felt as solid as any, like rough stone, impenetrable. A nervous look finally breached Loki's typical calm demeanor. As hard as she tried, she could not bend the wall, could do nothing at all. ''What do you mean? What point? I still think there is a misunderstanding here...''

Doom ran a metal hand down Loki's feminine face, trailing down her neck, over her breast, and along her side to rest on her hip. Loki shuddered at the sensation, part of her marveling at how real that had felt. There was no doubt where Doom was going with this now. ''If you misunderstand now, you will understand soon enough.''

Doom unzipped his pants and Loki looked away. ''You will service me now. I would like to see those ebony lips wrapped about me.''

Loki kept her head turned to the side but glanced down as Doom's member, a thrill of fear going through her. Her voice wavered as she spoke. ''You threaten a god to service you, mortal? I advise you reconsider your course, you tread dangerous ground.''

Doom grabbed Loki's chin in one iron fist and pulled her to her knees, shoving his cock into her mouth as she gagged. ''I know my course. It is you who fails to know your own. You have made a mistake by disobeying me, I shall do more to you now than I previously would have. Please me well, and perhaps your time spent as my toy shall be lessened somewhat.''

Loki felt tears roll down her face as Doom roughly shoved his dick in and out of her mouth, gripping her painfully by the hair with both hands as he thrust with his hips, fucking her mouth. She tried not to let her teeth cut him, afraid of what Doom might do if she did. Once again Loki marveled at how real it all felt. When Doom finally pulled out far enough for Loki to get a muffled word out she spoke, ''Please, can you not accept my apology? I meant you no harm, and indeed you survived the incident...''

Doom shoved Loki's head back onto his thrusting cock, ending her words in a gag. ''Your mouth is better used pleasing me. I suggest you do so.'' Doom ran one armored hand along the back of Loki's neck, trailing around and down to cup one breast in his grip.

Loki watched Doom's eyes wander over her curvaceous form, and she worried what other uses Doom now thought to make of her. Loki felt himself flush a bright red with humiliation. Much was her situation of course, being forced to give a mortal a blow job was base in every sense. What was worse though was the realization that she would need to voluntarily suck Doom off in order to keep the warlord from trying to take the situation to a worse place.

Doom groaned as Loki began to suck and roll her tongue around his throbbing member. Tears of shame mingled with saliva as Loki worked his cock with her mouth, frigging the base while gliding her full lips across the shaft. A few moments later Doom gripped Loki's shoulders as he grunted his release. Loki sputtered as a torrent of sperm shot into her mouth, and she choked a bit as cum flew across one cheek and into her hair. Loki closed her eyes tight, gritting her teeth against the way she felt, Doom's seed dripping from her chin.

Doom returned himself to his pants with a sigh. ''That was a decent blow job. Have you done this before? No matter... you shall wait here until the mood strikes me to again have my way with you.''

Loki's eyes widened and she raised one hand towards Doom. ''No! Wait! I pleased you as you wished...''

Doom nodded down at Loki, ''Indeed. And you shall again. And again. Until I tire of you and release you from my service,''

Loki looked around her in horror to see that she had a collar on now, and shackles upon her hands and feet, a series of small chains leading to strong braces in the stone wall behind her. A mournful sound escaped her. ''No...''

Doom turned to leave as if he had simply made a trip to the restroom, no further consideration given to his prisoner.

Loki started to raise her hand towards his fading back, a cry on her lips, but it died there, and she sink pitiably to the floor.

There would be no mercy here...

Loki waited for what seemed an eternity. She moved about in her chains, testing them, but they were stronger than they looked, literally made up of Doom's raw willpower. She did not grow hungry, thirsty, or tired, but this only served to worry her, since it meant there was no way to gauge time here. Loki was not even sure that Doom would not allow her body to waste away, so that when Doom finally did release her to her true form, Loki would be a withered atrophied creature. Loki shuddered at the thought.

If Doom ever released her, that is. Loki bit her bottom lip thinking about what else Doom might have in store for her before he felt satisfied. Loki felt tears well in her eyes as she thought of what she must do. Talking Doom out of his course was foolish. Loki had nothing to offer Doom to keep him at bay, and Doom knew it. Loki was also helpless, his fellow Asgardians would not come to his aid either, so any threats made were idle. Doom knew this too.

She would have to please him in whatever ways he wished, until he grew bored of her and released her from this hellish imprisonment. Loki felt sick to her stomach as she pondered taking the role of sexual slave to heart. She still tasted Doom on her tongue, even thinking about how she had serviced him causing her to shiver in dread of what the future held for her as slave to his every whim.

With no way to tell time, moments stretched into unbearably long silence. Loki tested the reach of her chains and found they offered a fair amount of movement. The better to be manipulated by Doom, of course. Loki felt sick. The thought of Doom plunging inside his female sex shook her to the core.

Loki was musing over how pathetic her existence had become when Doom's shadow fell across her as she sat on her knees in the chains. Loki leapt to her feet, her body flushed already at the implication of his presence. Loki's heart thudded wildly within her chest as Doom approached.

The steel-clad monarch raised a hand, pointing to the wall behind her. ''Place your hands upon the wall, I wish to enter you today.''

Loki had decided before that she was going to do whatever Doom commanded, so as to avoid punishment and expedite the process, but with his large frame looming over her, the thought of Doom penetrating her frightened her terribly, and she clasped her hands together reflexively as she begged, ''No, please...''

Doom did not slow his approach, grabbing Loki roughly by the shoulder and spinning her around to face the wall. Loki cried out as Doom ripped her dress open and pushed her hard against the stone, her breasts mashed there and her hands splayed along the rock face. Doom could have simply willed her naked. He had chosen to rip them off. Loki felt the tears that had threatened before flow down her face now.

Doom unzipped his pants, pulling his erection out as Loki wriggled against his other strong arm. Loki did not manage to cry out for him to stop before he had shoved himself to the hilt in her pussy, the pain of the invasion causing Loki to scream instead. Doom did not take his time, and was not gentle as he rocked back and forth, ravaging her.

Loki began to sob against her feeling of helplessness and the pain, but the thing that humiliated her most was that her body eventually began to react to Doom's motion, providing lubricant to the dictator so that he could more easily take her.

Doom pulled Loki back into himself with each thrust, his hands on her hips until he grunted, pushing hard against her. Loki could feel his cock throbbing inside her, releasing his seed deep within her.

She wailed at the humiliation, but Doom seemed to not be done yet, pulling his still hard dick out of her pussy and ramming it into her ass. Loki's eyes went wide with the realization of what Doom had just done, and she sobbed at how he defiled her, ramming her own juices back into her ass. He had taken every orifice of her now.

Loki gritted her teeth as Doom pushed and long minutes passed. It would take much longer this way since Victor had just cum. Loki's ass hurt and she gasped at each thrust.

Doom slapped a gauntlet across Loki's shuddering ass, eliciting a cry from her. ''Stop wriggling so, or you will find what I do now kind compared to what I will do to you.''

Loki bowed her head in defeat, tears falling from her face to the ground below as Doom had his way. The chains binding Loki to the stone wall rattled and clinked as the two swayed. At long last Doom thrust deep into Loki, his hips straining as he released himself into her ass. Loki clenched her eyes shut tightly and gave one long yell of anguish at Doom's further desecration of her person.

Doom said nothing, zipping himself up and leaving, not even sparing the trickster a word. Loki's heart sank low as she considered her role in life now, as Doom's sperm receptacle. She sobbed, pulling her legs up to cry into her knees.

So it went for a time, Loki always unsure when Doom would return, dreading his visits but unable to even gauge when the warlord would return. Doom would show up and ravage her, taking whatever hole he fancied at the time. After a while, Loki began to work with Doom, trying to get him to cum faster, and keeping her eyes shut for the most part, afraid to see a smile in Doom's eyes. Afraid to see Victor's reaction to her total defeat.

Doom did many things to her, they tried many positions. One time Doom turned her on her head, holding her up by her legs as he fucked her downwards. The next he pushed her down facing the ground and pulled her hands down between her legs, opening her thighs with her own hands and making it impossible for her to struggle as he rammed himself into her ass. Yet another time Doom pulled on her chains, raising her into the air splayed spread eagle and helpless while he fucked her, only stopping to change her position or even to hang her upside down so he could fuck her mouth. When Doom allowed her on top, she worked her hips over him, trying her best to make him climax so she would have another respite.

At times Doom would blindfold her so she could not see what he would do next, and she often found herself clenching in anticipation. She imagined Doom simply watched her to see her frustration. One time Doom brought an assortment of toys, fucking Loki with them and savoring her humiliation as she came, unable to fight her bodies desires.

Loki tasted Doom's cum many times, and wore it all over her body, as he sometimes pulled out just so she could see it spray over her heaving form, marking her as his.

At long last Doom finally spoke to her once more. ''I tire of you, so I shall return your used body to you. Do as you will, only remember what it is to cross Doom.'' With that Doom faded from view, and Loki felt the chains binding her slip away. By no means had Loki become used to Doom's treatment of her, but after so long, she just sat there staring, unable to believe that she was once more free.

Loki had to concentrate to remember how she could free herself from this place, then she closed her eyes and willed herself back to her body, half expecting this to be a trick on Victor's part, just so he could laugh at her disappointment when she realized she was still trapped.

The world grew dark, and Loki sat up with a start, looking about him quickly. He was within Asgard once more, lying upon his own bed within his private chambers. He leapt from his bed, searching around for Doom or any of the Latverian's retinue, but found himself alone. Loki began to wonder if it had all been a horrible nightmare as he returned to sitting shakily. He looked down then, realizing that he was in the guise of a woman. Fear shot through him at the implications of this.

Loki tried to calm himself. Regardless of whether Doom had been inside his head or not, he likely only wore this form as a reaction to his own dreams. Loki closed her eyes and sought to revert back to her true form, then began to panic. She could not seem to touch the magic needed to shift back. Had Doom stripped him of his powers?

Loki summoned a small sphere of light easily to his hand. No, he still had his magics. Something else kept him from using his powers of transformation. Loki began to worry anew. What had Doom done? Had the warlord just returned him here to Asgard, or had he... tampered with Loki's body? Loki shuddered as images of what Doom had done in his head swam through his mind.

Loki shook her head. No. He couldn't think like that. It was all in his head, Doom had just played games with him, seeking to cow the trickster. Loki shuddered. Doom had succeeded, whereas Loki would usually feel only anger there was also dread at the thought of Doom. No. The best thing Loki could do was act as if nothing had happened, to play off Doom's ruse as if it had not affected him.

Loki wiped a tear off of her eye at the thought of how Doom had violated her. She would stay well away from Doom, she would not wish to give him the chance to make those awful fantasies of his a reality. Loki felt tired and oddly sore, so she laid herself down to rest after casting a spell of shielding over her room, hoping for dreamless slumber.

Loki woke feeling sick, and she rushed to the latrine, dry retching over the bowl. A sudden irrational fear stole into Loki's heart, and she shoved it down. Impossible. But how long had she been asleep that first time? Loki cleaned herself up, clutching her aching stomach as she quickly walked outside.

The sun was high in the sky and Loki covered her face with one hand, squinting against the light as she scanned around. It had been night when she remembered falling asleep. Had Doom really been there in the diner? Yes, otherwise why would she be here now? Had only one night passed?

Loki clutched her stomach as another pain shot through. Her brow wrinkled in worry and she rushed back in, consulting the dais there. Several weeks had passed. Loki felt a shiver of dread work its way down his spine. He couldn't have... conceived... could he? Doom had raped his mind not his body... hadn't he?

Loki wrapped her arms about herself as she paced back and forth. Doom had had access to her body, perhaps for nearly the entire time, those rapings could have been physical as well, it would have certainly explained how real it had felt. Loki's face twisted in indignation at the thought. A mortal, impregnating him? Loki, Asgardian god to bear Doom's offspring?

Loki felt overwhelmed by the thought of it, her aching stomach feeling like it tied itself into knots. He had to be sure, but how to find out for certain? Loki did not wish to alert any Asgardian to his potential plight, especially should it turn out to be false. And he certainly did not wish to seek the aid of any mortal of Midgard, either.

Loki felt tears well into the corners of her eyes at the unfairness of it all. One more example of how alone he was.

Donald Blake sat back, sighing tiredly after a long day's work. Everyone else had left, even his secretary, and he rested a moment in the office chair. He got up to gather his bag and coat, headed for the door, when a feminine voice surprised him.

''Wait.''

Donald whirled around to see a beautiful woman in a long black dress looking down her nose at him. ''How did you...? Well, it doesn't matter, we are closed. You can arrange an appointment for tomorrow if you like.''

A voice whispered into Donald's mind.''That is Loki, god of trickery in the flesh. Quickly, summon me, for surely he means mischief!''

Donald narrowed his eyes as he gazed at Loki. She looked at him with haughty eyes, but there was something else there too. ''What is it that you wanted?''

Loki tried to keep his composure, but now that there was no turning back, now that he had no choice but to tell the truth of the matter, her lips trembled a bit, the arrogant look replaced by sincere worry. ''I need you to check me out... I ...'' Loki looked into Donald's familiar face, seeing his brother there, and flushing with shame that there was no way to tell Donald without also telling Thor.

''...I think I might be pregnant.''

Donald nodded, his calm diametric to the surprised outburst in his mind from Thor. ''I see. Please, come with me, and have a seat on this table.''

The voice in his mind sounded of concern, ''Donald, you should release me, Loki surely seeks to trap you in some way...''

Donald thought back at Thor as he opened his bag, pulling some tools of his trade out. 'Nonsense. Look at her eyes when she speaks. I have seen that look on the faces of young mothers for years.'

Donald lightly touched Loki's hand and she pulled it away, an angry look on her face. His voice was gentle. ''I'm sorry, miss, but I'm trying to guide you to where you will need to sit, you will have to put your legs up for me to look at you. I assure you it is nothing I have not seen many times before.''

Loki snarled at the thought of this mortal manipulating him in such a way, but after a moment she moved as Blake indicated, pulled her legs on the chairs arms and feeling markedly uncomfortable about being so exposed. Blake motioned for her to pull down her undergarment, and she gritted her teeth as she did so.

Donald leaned in, looking closely with a flashlight, and Loki looked away, flinching when Donald touched her to probe around. Loki's face burned with shame, and she wondered if she shouldn't just kill this man now and retreat from here quickly. But Loki knew it would not solve the problem; namely that Doom might have impregnated her.

Thor spoke again into Blake's mind. 'Loki is a master of lies and centuries old, you take your life into your hands trusting him.'

Donald chided him, 'All that time you spend watching what I do in there, and you have still learned nothing? Look, those tears along her vaginal wall. Your sister... brother? ...has been raped. It looks like far more than once, and brutally.'

Donald let Thor mull that over a moment, feeling a surge of mixed emotions from Thor. 'Also, she/he is pregnant.'

Thor grew quiet, as Donald had known he would. The doctor looked up at last to regard Loki levelly, giving her a small but warm smile. ''You are with child, dear. If you would like to make arrangements to learn more about child care, I have a list of numbers you might find useful.''

Loki stared at Blake, hearing but not hearing, her face blank, shocked even though she had known all along. She nodded dully then stood, waving a hand to open a passage back to Asgard.

A strong voice sounded behind Loki and she winced. ''Wait. Donald is not the only one who would offer you comfort. Seek me out if... you wish to talk.''

Loki looked back at Thor, the blond warrior wearing a look of concern on his face. Was he mocking Loki? Loki clenched her hands into fists, ''I need not your help, you buffoon, stay out of my affairs!''

Loki pivoted on one heel, storming through the portal even as frustration sought to tear him apart. Doom had done this on purpose, knowing what effects such a thing would have, knowing it would wreak more humiliation upon Loki. She felt tears well into the corners of her eyes, and sought to avoid others as she strode back to her room, wishing only that she could sink into the floor and disappear forever.

Lady Sif crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Thor sternly. ''Well, out with it, what possible reason could you have for me to seek to offer a villain like Loki comfort?''

Thor's brow wrinkled in consternation, ''He has locked himself away for some time with a problem that only a woman would understand, and I feel that even Loki deserves pity from time to time. However misguided, he is still one of us.'' Thor saw her glare intensify, and he gave up trying to beat around the bush, something he was not good at anyways. ''Loki is pregnant.''

Sif's eyes shot up in surprise. ''The god of trickery has taken on a child? With whom?'' Sif waved her hand and turned her head aside before Thor could answer. ''It matters not, let Loki tend to his own, if he has gone this course then surely he is aware of what he has gotten himself into. If not, let it be a mark of his arrogance to assume he knows the role of a woman so well.''

Thor circled her so that she was looking into his eyes once more. ''He did not choose this course. There are those that claimed to follow us that took women against any code of honor, such has befallen Loki.''

Sif continued to glare, but the edge had left her voice. ''How can you be certain...?''

Thor merely stared back. ''I am.''

Sif let out an exasperated sigh.

Loki whirled as she heard footsteps approach the archway that led into his chambers, surprised that someone had come here. When she saw the Lady Sif silhouetted within the doorway, Loki turned away, hiding her growing stomach from view as she growled at Sif over her shoulder. ''Leave me be! I do not wish company.''

Sif entered anyway, walking in to gaze around at Loki's array of book strewn tables and alchemical devices. ''I do not come to offer ridicule, Thor grew worried that you have not joined the court in some time, and wished that I see you well.''

Loki did not reply for a long moment. ''...I am well, you may leave now.''

Sif offered him a slight smile. ''Why thank you noble lord for your permission to leave at my leisure, I think I shall stay and speak a moment more.'' Loki snarled as she moved closer, turning away as she approached so her back was to Sif. ''There is no point to hiding it from me, I know you are with child, and there is no need for you to feel shame.''

Loki's voice was choked. ''What possible reason could you have to be here than to gloat over my condition? Why pretend to care, I know you have no fondness for me.''

Sif laid a hand on Loki's shoulder and she flinched, but the hand was gentle as Sif turned the trickster to face her. ''I come to offer advice. After all, I am certain your mother did not instruct you in the ways of child-rearing, there are things you would want to know.''

Loki scowled. ''Thor surely thinks me a fool in sending you. He must feel that I could not manage this on my own. He is wrong.'' Loki removed her hand and walked a few paces away, turning her back to Sif again.

Sif glared at his back, taking a moment before responding. ''You make me wonder why he cares so much for you with your lack of gratitude. No one accused you of being a fool, think what you will, at least I tried.''

Sif turned to leave, making it back to the doorway before a small voice caused her to stop.

''Wait.''

Sif looked back to see tears streaking Loki's face, an expression of abject misery upon her face as her lips trembled. ''Please... don't go.''

Sif walked back to Loki and the two regarded each other in silence for some time. Finally Sif opened her arms and Loki fell into them, sobbing her frustration. Sif stroked her hair as Loki wailed out his pain. ''It is alright for even men to cry. Tears allow the heart to mend.''

Loki clutched her tightly as she was beset by wracking sobs, unable to do anything but pour her misery out now that he had started. When Loki finally felt able to control his emotions once more, he detached himself from Sif, looking decidedly timid. ''I-I don't know what came over me, I...''

''You are doing fine. These things are not easy. Come, your feet must be sore. Sit and let me massage them while I tell you of motherhood.''

Loki looked torn, a barrage of different emotions crowding over her face. Sif sat and offered a hand to help Loki down to the pillows, and after a moments hesitation, she also sat, allowing Sif to rub her feet. ''Why?'' Loki felt shame that tears still crowded her eyes.

''Doing the right thing is reason enough unto itself.''

Balder ran a hand along his chin. He glanced to Sif then to Thor. ''You are certain he was taken against his will?''

Thor nodded.

Balded returned the nod. ''Do you know who it might have been? Have you asked?''

Thor shook his head and Sif spoke up. ''It would not be proper to ask. If Loki wishes to disclose the father, that is his decision.''

Balder nodded assent to Sif, then sighed. ''I wonder what Odin would think of this.''

Thor smiled. ''I think he would embarrass Loki quite thoroughly in proclaiming his joy on the news of further grandchildren.''

Balder smiled and Sif laughed, unable to help being amused at the thought of Loki being flustered by Odin announcing his pregnancy jovially to all in Asgard. Balder's smile vanished, though. ''Odin would also likely take the rape personally, and seek vengeance on whomever had a hand in it.'' Balder looked askance of Thor. ''I am surprised you are not charging off to mete out retribution yourself.''

Thor shook his head tiredly. ''Nay, with Loki there is no telling how convoluted this may be. I am not certain that it would be right to seek vengeance, and sadly could not trust my brother not to twist this into an excuse to wreak havoc with my hammer.''

Balder and Sif made no comment, silently agreeing with Thor's assessment.

Loki wheeled about, surprised at the noise of several sets of boots coming into his chambers. She quickly placed a lid over a churning pot as Fandral rounded a corner, shooting him a dashing smile. ''Hello there trickster, did we come in time for supper?''

Loki crossed her arms over her stomach, wondering how many more had come to mock her as Volstagg and Hogun also rounded the bend, the dark warrior trailing behind the other two quietly as always.

Fandral beamed as he approached, ''Strange that you have taken to this form once more, Loki, if I did not know you to be male, I would say...'' The blond paused suddenly, noting Loki's bulging stomach despite the trickster's feeble attempt to hide it.

Loki saw the smile freeze on Fandral's face and her face flushed red as she realized he knew she was pregnant. The baby had grown enough to make Loki swell a fair amount, and it was too obvious to hide. Surely Fadral would mock him to no end now. As the other two approached Loki felt trapped and her frustration exploded into action as she yelled at the three, waving one black-nailed hand as if shooing away birds. ''Get out! I did not summon thee nor do I wish your company!''

Fandral's mouth worked as she said this, as if he had been about to say something but her words has changed his mind. Volstagg had looked jovial at first, but after hearing Loki's words and seeing her for himself, his face grew somber, even apologetic. He laid a hand on Fandral's shoulder as he spoke. ''Forgive us, Loki. We came to see you well, since it has been some time since any of Asgard have seen you beyond the threshold of yon door.''

Hogun had stopped back a ways, and remained silent as was his way, preferring to show respect by not intruding further but curious what the other two would do. Loki knew Hogun shared their spirit with them, yet he stood apart as Loki often did. Unlike Loki, however, Hogun was accepted despite this.

Fandral splayed his hands to either side of himself as he bowed slightly at the waist, eyes on Loki. ''Indeed, we mean no harm. I see now why you have been preoccupied and I wish you congratulations on your child.'' Fandral still offered his smile, though weakened from before. ''I am sure all of Asgard will be pleased to know another joins their royal line.''

Loki grit her teeth in frustration. ''I do not wish all of Asgard to know of it...'' She saw the looks of puzzlement and concern on Fandral and Volstagg's faces and Loki felt the wave of vexation rise higher within her. ''Just go, I am not well, and do not wish company.''

Loki felt her voice waver as she spoke, her helplessness over the spiraling situation infusing her words with her frustration. Volstagg squeezed Fandral's shoulder and the two bowed their heads to Loki before departing with Hogun.

Loki drew a hand to her face and squinted her eyes shut. Why did things always go so wrong no matter how hard she planned?

The Warriors Three paused as they came across Balder on his way into Loki's area of the palace. The four all shared looks until Balder finally spoke after reading their faces. ''You did not upset him too much, did you?''

Fandrall and Volstagg stared at the floor and Balder sighed. Fandral raised an eyebrow as he lifted a tentative finger. ''Mi-lord, you are not...?''

Balder flushed several degrees of red at the unfinished question. ''Of course not!'' he sputtered '' ... you three go about your business, and please do not mention what you now know to the others just yet.''

Fandral and Hogun nodded but Volstagg stepped forward, a worried expression on his round face. ''Mi-lord please forgive the impertinence, but I am concerned as to the reason why this news must be kept secret...''

Balder laid a reassuring hand on Volstagg's shoulder, giving him a small smile. ''It is because you value life that you are concerned. I am here now because I have suspected what weighs on your mind. Be at ease, there is nothing more you can do here. Perhaps Loki will be heartened that the three of you took effort to see him well without prodding from Thor.''

The three nodded to Balder before continuing on their way somberly, and Balder took a deep breath before entering Loki's room.

Loki clutched her stomach once more, a snarl on her face as she turned. ''I told you, I do not wish... oh. Lord Balder.'' Loki found herself blushing once more. Perhaps the whole of Asgard would parade through his chambers. Loki ground her teeth as she did her best to look respectful and pointlessly cover her stomach. She had become a spectacle, to be viewed by anyone who felt like having a laugh... Loki considered placing a strong door with a bar on his wing of the castle.

Balder's face was unreadable as he approached, each step forward dispelling any hope Loki had of hiding her pregnancy from him. Loki fumed inwardly that she could not even attempt to shoo this visitor away. Balder was Lord of All, denying him access to a room within his own palace would be impossible.

''Loki, I see you are looking well, though tired. Have you had enough rest?''

Balder's soft words struck Loki like a hammer. After all these years, Loki figured he should know Balder well enough to realize he would treat her so when with child, but somehow those words filled with such genuine warmth set her off kilter. Loki regained her composure quickly, ''You do not seem surprised at my condition.''

Loki betted it was those three big mouth warriors. Likely they had began shouting what they had seen down the halls with no regard for Loki's wishes.

Balder waved offhandedly, ''Thor spoke of it to me.''

Loki ground her teeth further. He suddenly realized he had trusted Thor. So much for that.

Balder saw Loki get lost in his own thoughts and queried the trickster. ''You say 'condition', as if your pregnancy were a disease. Are you unhappy with your child, Loki?''

Loki felt many strong feelings well up simultaneously, and turned away from Balder as tears threatened her eyes. Loki hated feeling this way, it must be this cursed feminine form that made him so, he thought. Her voice wavered as she spoke. ''Why do you ask such a question?''

''I know nothing of alchemy, but I hear from Sif that you work constantly on a potion. I fear your intent.''

Loki wheeled around facing Balder once more, pointing one finger at his lord. ''You cannot stay my hand in this! It is my right to decide if I bear this child... and my reasons are my own, so do not ask!'' Loki trembled, she only wished Balder would go away and everyone would leave her in peace.

Balder lifted his hands, ''I would levy no command here. I only come to offer council, if you would have it.''

Loki turned her back to him once more to hide the tears that began to streak her face. ''What could you know of it?'' she huffed angrily.

Balder dropped his hands, his voice still gentle. ''I know Loki is supreme alchemist of Asgard. I am certain that if he wished to make a potion of this nature, it would take him much less time than it has, unless...''

''Unless...?'' Loki peered back over her own shoulder, seeing Balder look right through her with those steely eyes of his.

''Unless you are stalling yourself, because you are not certain you wish to go through with killing your own child, whatever the circumstances of it's conception.''

Loki shook as he said this, staring at the floor. Coming from anyone else, Loki would have doubted those words, but from Balder, who always cut to the truth, Loki could not hide from the reality of his words. ''I shall consider your opinion, but I wish to be left alone. Please go... mi-lord''

Balder nodded to Loki's back and departed quietly.

Loki crossed her arms across her chest as she cried silently. Why was nothing ever easy for Loki?

Loki sighed as she finally seated herself upon one of the ornate chairs available. She placed one arm upon the work table in front of her and ran black-painted nails across her forehead, eyes closed against exhaustion while she rested her feet. A sound across the room caused her to look over, spying Lady Sif entering her domicile once more.

Loki was a little irate at yet another interruption, but at least Sif was not as unwelcome as the others had been. ''You return, Lady Sif... have you more advice for me today, or were you wanting to massage mine feet again? If the latter, you may begin as you wish.''

Sif gave her a look of mild annoyance before seating herself across from her. Her gaze wandered over the various tubes of liquid scattered over the table and the parchment covered in Loki's scrawl that sat in front of her. ''You should rest, it is not well for the baby to be so industrious now.''

Loki scowled at her, ''I have important work that needs doing.''

Sif raised an eyebrow, ''And what work would be so important that you would lose rest now that you need it most?''

Loki gritted her teeth as she snatched the papers in front of Sif up. ''Did Balder send you? I grow weary of these interruptions.''

Sif's face was impassive as she replied. ''I inquired of Balder what you were up to, he only told me his suspicions in the matter. I pray he is not correct... you do not mean to slay the infant in your womb, do you, Loki?''

Loki looked away, hating how they all kept pushing this matter. ''Regardless of what I choose, it would be my choice to make. I did not ask for your council or that of Balder in this matter.''

Sif's brow drew down in irritation. ''Indeed. So you would make such a decision so lightly, that you would not even ask the opinions of others? Do you feel yourself so wise, Loki? What happens if you go through with such a thing, and then feel regret, would you wish you had sought council then?''

Loki sneered at her, ''Council is sought from peers. None of you have an inkling of who I am.''

Sif stared at him levelly, ''Then enlighten me, Loki.''

Loki glanced away again, huffing in dismissive frustration. ''Impossible. None of you know what it is to suffer as I have suffered. Ever since I was a child, I have known only pain, my experience is beyond any of you.'' Loki's frowned as he said this, his eyes distant.

Without further comment Sif stood and slapped Loki solidly across the face. Loki reeled from the slap, her eyes wide in surprise and her cheek burning. Sif's face contorted in anger, ''You arrogant, self-pitying, narrow-minded son of a bitch. Wake up. The life you have led has been so awful to you? Then change it.''

Loki stood quickly, her chair falling over behind her as she yelled at Sif in a rage. ''Change it?! I have only ever sought to do just that, but Thor ever thwarts me! And you strike me when I am laden with child?!''

Another slap arced through the air faster than Loki could react, and now her other cheek burned, her head turning with the blow. Loki's face was cast in shock and Sif only seemed more angry now, ''Now you care for the child?! If you care for your progeny, why not give it the life you claim was taken from you?''

Loki stared at her wide eyed, and Sif continued. ''Thor has shown you more compassion than any of Asgard save Odin. Reflect if you will the hypocrisy you speak in saying that you have suffered so and never had a chance, when you stand alive here and now, with possibility open to you. When you consider ending this life before it has rightly begun, what does this say of you? Have you learned nothing of these trials you speak of?''

Loki's face was alive with many different powerful emotions, and her lips trembled when she finally spoke. ''I- I cannot be this child's mother.''

Sif's face retained it's glare, but slackened somewhat. ''And why is that?''

Loki balled her fists, clenching her eyes shut as she released the venom in her heart. ''Because it is a mortal's progeny! Doom's progeny, that he cursed me with just to hurt me, to dominate me!'' When Loki opened her eyes, tears flowed from them.

Sif saw immense hurt in those eyes, and her expression softened. ''If you slay the child, you harm yourself once more, and Doom wins. Why not instead raise the child in Asgardian image, so that Doom may see the strength in you?''

Loki stared a moment more at Sif, tears rolling down her cheeks. She turned from Sif, unable to look her in the eyes as she folded her arms around herself, responding in a small voice. ''I am a man, I cannot act as mother.. and I am Loki...'' her voice hitched, ''...I am poison.''

Loki started in surprise as Sif wrapped her arms around her, placing a hand gently on the back of Loki's neck to guide her head to rest on Sif's powerful shoulder. ''Then change. We are all aware of the hate you have held in your heart, but there is something else in you now. You feel it, don't you?''

Loki relaxed into Sif's grip, closing her eyes and nodding almost imperceptibly. ''...Yes.''

Sif kissed the top of Loki's head tenderly, ''We are all here to help you nourish your love of the child growing within you. To help you replace your hatred and pain. You have ever been a troubled soul, Loki, but never evil. Odin knew this, and wished to help you. He is not here now, but perhaps he foresaw this day. This chance for change.''

Loki opened her eyes after a long silence, staring into the distance. ''A new start?''

Sif gave Loki a small smile, nodding slightly. ''A new start.''

* * *

* * *

Volstagg paced back and forth, occasionally kneading his hands and looking back at the closed door to Dr. Blake's hospital proper.

Sif sat in one of the waiting room chairs and followed him with her eyes for some time before exclaiming, ''Volstagg, enough! We know ye worry, but you will wear circles into the floor.''

Volstagg looked up at her and nodded sheepishly before trying to sit in one of the lobby chairs, only to give up and seat himself on the floor when it became clear the small chair could not contain his girth. Fandral leaned on the wall nearby, and he slapped Volstagg fondly on the back as he chuckled. ''Volstagg, old boy, you would think with all the children you have you would be used to this part by now.''

Volstagg's face still read of worry as he nodded silently and Hogun gave the others a rare smile, ''He has a big heart, he cannot help it.''

Just then Loki's cries of effort ceased, and the four of them crowded around the small window set into the delivery room door.

Loki huffed from the sudden cessation of effort, and looked up worriedly as she heard the wail of a child. Blake smiled gently at Loki as he rounded the bed with a tiny bundle in his hands. ''It's a beautiful baby girl.''

Loki's brow shot up as Blake set the screaming child into her arms, and as the baby quieted down, Loki felt herself smiling at her tiny hands pawing Loki's breast.

The baby stopped squalling completely after a moment, and nuzzled into Loki, and as the trickster watched the infant fall soundly to sleep as if this were as it always was and should be, she felt peace.

The trickster god looked over to Blake, who stood smiling down at her, and finally felt as if things were going to be alright.

''Thank you, brother.''


End file.
